Boomer Humor Doomergod

I want my walls to be snozzberry flavored

I’m giving a $15 bounty to whoever can code a website to ring a tiny bell every time this happens

Not just carbon, but a lot of other combustion byproducts that people shouldn’t breathe.

It’s a dirty fuel with no way to clean up the emissions and causes massive health problems. But it’s definitely renewable

It would be nice if it looked less EXTREME

Unless I slept through the Eugenics Wars in the 90s I’m sad to report we are not in the Prime Universe.

Though in that case there is a distinctive lack of lens flare.

Don’t forget that the source of the wine filling it up is everybody else who pays for things, including the glasses at the bottom.

And teachers everywhere

Keep circulating the tapes!

I knew some folks who had this beautiful old Victorian house with a mud room. They covered the entire arched ceiling in wine corks and the floor in $153.82 in pennies.

Also, I can’t wait to see the Technology Connections video on this amazing energy saving technology.

I’ve considered it, but they all want to mow it down to nothing and I like my grass longer

I used to have about five acres and would only mow the area around my house. But when I went to sell it the realtor said I had to mow all of it because it looked “messy.”

Dumbasses want to move out to the country and live in a damn suburb smh

My elderly neighbor got one and it’s quite fun to watch it tootle around his yard.

I love mowing lawns. Put some headphones on and a good audiobook and I can mow for hours. I’m actually a little sad that I only have a small lawn now, because I can barely get into a rhythm before I’m done.

Yeah, a lobster is a meal. But to get the same amount of meat out of a blue you’ll have to pick a half dozen of them.

Crabs and lobster are basically giant ocean bugs. I don’t like blues, though, because there’s not much meat on them.

I bet it would keep the deer from eating my tomatoes, too

See in 2011 the formula on how you’d calculate your fleet’s avarage MPG got changed to now factor in vehicle footprint as a variable

I was wondering why every new car I see is too long and wide

Ah, okay, let me just nip on down to the GM R&D facility and ask them nicely to remove these features.

Seriously, what do you expect me to do other than not buy what they’re selling? And if every car is like this, do I just never buy a car?

Thanks! I checked and both my cars are too old to be a problem, and I don’t see myself buying a car made after 2019… ever.

This post makes me really glad I didn’t buy a Chevy Bolt the last time I bought a car. I thought the whole subcompact electric thing was cool, but this is kind of insane.